Stay Sane During Flying Monkey Season

How self-care can be an act of resistance.

Yesterday, I was doing a self-care practice I've enjoyed the last few Wednesdays. I tuned into Native Wellness Institute's 'Wellness Wednesdays' talk, during which Theda New Breast, a badass auntie—her rightful self-description!—from the Black Foot Native American tribe, shares a whole bunch of wisdom.

I found her by accident a few weeks ago when I accidentally slipped into zombie mode and started scrolling abandonedly on social media. (See, even happy accidents can happen from our foolish bents!) I have since been listening to her talks like a thirsty person in need of water. Her advice, though given through the lens of the teachings of her ancestors and most directly applicable to Native Americans, is so dang practical, good medicine for us all.

Perhaps I felt drawn to her because it seems right to counterbalance all that rhetoric coming out of the White Castle—oops, I mean White House— with the wisdom of a matriarch—and not only that, a matriarch whose blood carries the wisdom of Americans from the dawn of humans on this land, as it is so called. It's a powerful antidote in that regard. So I feel I'm doing my own little act of resistance by simply listening to her.

I'm writing now to share a tidbit from her talk yesterday about 'Flying Monkey Syndrome'. All her talks use humor as medicine, and I encourage you to listen directly when you have time. This is how the Native Wellness Institute defines Flying Monkey Syndrome:

"When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying Monkeys). Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, threats, and violence. These monkeys were sent by the witch to do her dirty work, and the phrase has since become synonymous with people who end up doing the dirty work of a narcissist. Flying monkeys get caught up in a narcissist's plan-often to damage the life of another person (e.g. a smear campaign). The phrase has also been used to refer to people who act on behalf of a psychopath, for a similar purpose."

Shew. And the monkeys are flying. And hurting. And it's only just begun.

This link is the entire one-page document on Flying Monkey Syndrome, which includes a detailed list of ways to protect your own spirit. Definitely look at this.

I find Badass Auntie's wisdom so compelling because she teaches that genuine self-care is in itself an act of resistance. She reminds us that prayer, holding our loved ones close, and doing our spiritual and physical healing work are not only the way to stay sane and protected from the Flying Monkeys, they are also an act of resistance.

This is something that only a group like the Native Americans can attest to, because they've kept their culture alive—a culture that is deeply spiritual and healing in its best form—despite every effort by colonialists to erase it. And successfully erasing them and their culture so close did the European colonialists and first century (plus some) of American government come. But in the end, their commitment to who they are and how they connect with the ‘Great Spirit’ prevailed—and today still, they persist and resist. And share their ancient and gathered wisdom still with those who will hear.

Their story reminds me…Time is long. God's time, is so very long.

We forget this—well, I forget this. When I spiral into anxiety, when I worry, when I let the Flying Monkeys send me into a frenzy.

If you also get caught in that place, please join me and tune into these Wellness Wednesdays with Theda New Breast, the badass auntie. Do so when you can set aside some time. Be aware that her style of sharing is not linear, and that again is part of her ancestral lineage of wisdom teaching. Hear that well, my friends who share the Type A bent with me! Must be patient. Realizing that absorbing wisdom is better than learning it. Let it resonate, rather than intellectualize it.

Now, I want to end by sharing a few examples of how I'm using self-care, much of which I’ve been called to or called back to by Auntie Theda, to boundary up against that orange wave releasing all those monkeys who might darken my spirit…

To start, I’m Being Real Intentional About Social Media…

I know many of us are caught in a love/hate relationship with the broligarchy's invention of this virtual, addictive space. Instead of leaving the big social media platforms, which I honor as the choice of some of my friends, I'm choosing to be intentional in my use. I only spend a few minutes a week scrolling, and I only do so when I can truly focus my attention and intent on really engaging with what it is that my friends and family are up to and posting. I end my session as soon as I catch myself slipping into the zombie scroll mode, which will inevitably happen. A crafty little booger is that social media creature!

I also do not consume news through social media, although I do follow several journalism outlets and find their content is informative.

That leads me to here…Being Intentional About How I Consume News…

I'm doing this in few ways. First by definitely NOT tuning out…but by noticing when my mentality for the day is fragile, and thus not consuming any news on those days. Seeking instead things that lighten my spirit or make me laugh or calm me.

However, knowing what is happening in our nation and the world is vital. We got to this place partly because so many of us took a lot for granted and haven't been participating or paying attention. So, one way I resist is to pay attention.

But…and this is a big But…I get my news from actual journalists, not media personalities or social media influencers. I rather choose those who have been trained under the code of journalism ethics and thus also trained in fact-checking, investigative reporting, and bias. Of course, bias is nearly impossible to fully account for. So I look to a mix of professional journalism outlets. And I do pay for a couple of them, because I feel it is important to support the free press if we care at all about living within a democratic system.

This said, I also listen to sources that I do not view as credible. I want to know what the propaganda sounds like, and understand the 'alternate set of facts' shaping the reality of so many. I do this in limited sessions because it definitely causes a physiological stress response. This is just one reason why these last few practices are so important…

…I listen frequently and take encouragement from badass Auntie Theda New Breast and other wise voice across the wisdom traditions…by...

Praying…alot...

Starting my prayers with gratitude giving…

…I take time to connect in person with people I love and seek healing activities that are community based. For example, I convinced a couple of good friends to join me this weekend for a workshop at the Second Breath Center here in Greensboro. It was just lovely. Then, we went to my girlfriend's house, ate the enchiladas she cooked, and drank some wine that Snoop Dog has branded. You can scan his face on the bottle with your phone and then ask him questions—a Snoop Dog oracle—so cool!

...I show up for my counseling sessions--paid for in part by my beautiful health insurance (which is only available to me because of the ACA so God may it survive the hacksaws!)…

I exercise…

I seek rest…

...I get outside each day at least for a few minutes to be quiet and enjoy the sounds of the songbirds, the wind, the feeling of the air, and the natural light…

And I remind myself of how OLD all this is. How beautiful this world still is, despite all the waves of flying monkeys unleashed upon Her over Her unimaginably long life.

Which then reminds me of the brave and wise humans who have held the line of truth and love, of our ancestors who held, and still hold that line from across the veil.

I remember that this is a time of disorder, so we have to be real, much pain will come from this, lives will be destroyed, even lost—and yet, the mysteries of rebirth and miracles live inside it all.

I can't change that sacrificial design of being.

So I pray for those already hurt, those who will be hurt, all around the world, by this latest Flying Monkey Syndrome. Because their pain, their destruction, our pain, is so very real.

I pray for those who are confused about what is true, may they come to see it well.

I pray for those holding the line of humane and good reason.

And I pray for what might arise when the hacking ends, and the wounds can begin to heal.

And I pray for the stamina to sustain my own spirit, my own laugh, and joy for this life, despite anything, and for as long as is required.

Thank you for reading this. I’d love it if you would share in the comments any practices you are using to stay sane in this season of the Flying Monkey.

With love, Sarah